so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
