No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
