I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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