Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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