look no pants
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
