Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I will pee on everything he values.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize
