my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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