the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think people are normalizing furries
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