Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
home. puking in laundry basket.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
