Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
