Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
