Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
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how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
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It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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