nut hugger
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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