just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
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