even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize