i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
