dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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