Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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