Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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