I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
