I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
where are my eyebrows?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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