2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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