The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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