i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
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