Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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