On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
