I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I feel great
I just peed on a car
P.S. I can't hear my feet
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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