she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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