I cockslap morals
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
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So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
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It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize