he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
