it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
