so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Randomize