oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
