At least make sure they are 18
Why
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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