It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I'm having to shit out rocks
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