I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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