I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
