the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize