Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize