Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
