I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
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