We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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