North Korea, Best Korea!
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
