well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
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Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
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There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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