Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
