and next time when you feel me up, do it right
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize