And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
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its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
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I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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