Tell her she can't have a vagina
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
