He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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