OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
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I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
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He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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