I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
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We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
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I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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