.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
