He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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