Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
