i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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