The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If that was your dad, he is hot
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Randomize
