Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
